Why People Lie

And Why We Believe Them

Everybody does it. When we were little we lied to our parents, hoping we wouldn't get into trouble. We exaggerated our accomplishments to our friends. We've omitted things to influence the outcome. We've fibbed to keep from hurting people. Most of this stuff is harmless, until it isn't. When is that? When it hurts people, betrays a trust, deliberately misleads, it's used to keep others in their place. You could probably come up with more reasons, but big lies today are clearly unethical and lead to violent behavior. And in some cases, that's the goal. Many times when we lie, we're simply in denial about our own behavior, and we might not care who we hurt.  

According to Psychology Today, there are six reasons why people lie.  

 -David J. Ley PhD

1. The lie matters to the liar.  The number one reason people lie when it just doesn’t matter is because they actually think it matters. 

2. Telling the truth feels like giving up control. Often, people tell lies because they are trying to control a situation and exert influence toward getting the decisions or reactions they want. The truth can be “inconvenient. ” 

3. They don’t want to disappoint you. People who tell lie after lie are often worried about losing the respect of those around them.

4. Lies snowball. They get out of control. Eventually,  we’re arguing about the color of the sky, because to admit anything creates the potential of the entire house of cards tumbling. 

5. It’s not a lie to them. Multiple studies demonstrate that our memories are influenced by many things, that they change over time, and that they are essentially reconstructed each time we think about them. 

6. They want it to be true. Sometimes, liars hope that they can make something come true by saying it over and over, and by believing it as hard as they can. In today’s environment of “alternative facts,” it’s hard not to see this as somewhat justified.

So many people deny the facts laid out before them. Why?

I went to Vital Briefings website to find out more.

a) We want to,

b) it fits our view,

c) we're accustomed to believing the source.

But facts matter

 David Schrieberg points out that facts matter. Anybody who is the business of reporting information needs to support a higher ethical standard than the run of mill meme on social media. But putting the facts out there may not be enough anymore.

“Think about what is now required for a Republican politician to be considered a party member in good standing. He or she must pledge allegiance to policy doctrines that are demonstrably false; he or she must, in effect, reject the very idea of paying attention to evidence.” PAUL KRUGMAN, THE NEW YORK TIMES

According to Schrieberg recent research on this subject focus on three explanations, which can be linked, as to why people are willing to ignore facts in their process of making judgements.

#1: Motivated Reasoning - Selectively choosing evidence.

#2: Confirmation Bias - It feels good to ‘stick’ to our guns’ even if we are wrong,” JACK AND SARA GORMAN

#3: Illusory Truth Effect - The more times you read, hear or watch a story, the more you believe it’s true. 

So, what can we do? 

Schrieberg suggests:

• Consume less.
• Be very selective in the news you consume.
• Check out the sources you choose. Do they adhere to genuine journalistic practices? If they have biases, are they clearly stated and presented? Do they present multiple sides to the story, but not necessarily giving them all equal weight? Are their conclusions based on responsible reporting?
• Be wary of sites that don’t clearly present the sources of their revenue.
• Avoid sources displayed in your social media feeds that you can’t verify and/or lack legitimate expertise in the subject matter.
• Don’t rely solely on breaking news. Seek out more in-depth stories and analyses to inform your opinions and decisions.